Read Online The Ethical Slut Third Edition A Practical Guide to Polyamory Open Relationships and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love Janet W Hardy Dossie Easton 9780399579660 Books

Product details Paperback 320 pages Publisher Ten Speed Press; Updated, Expanded edition (August 15, 2017) Language English ISBN-10 9780399579660 ISBN-13 978-0399579660 ASIN 0399579664

The Ethical Slut Third Edition A Practical Guide to Polyamory Open Relationships and Other Freedoms in Sex and Love Janet W Hardy Dossie Easton 9780399579660 Books Reviews

• I give the book two stars. One star is because there were some nuggets of good advice regarding positive communication skills & techniques, owning your feelings, and being kind to yourself. The second star is because I was so incensed by the book I couldn’t put it down. It’s been a while since I’ve read something that made me feel so strongly to the point of marking up the margins with comments.
  
  While they pay lip service to the fact that monogamy might be right for some, the entire book has an underlying tone of condescension insinuating that if you do not embrace non-monogamy you have been brainwashed by society into unnatural confines and if you don’t break free from those confines you are not adventurous or revolutionary enough.
  
  The authors share a bit of their dysfunctional past that led them to swear of monogamy and become ethical sluts. They make a lot of effort to rationalize their hedonistic lifestyle. It seems most of the anecdotes in the book are based on lust and not love. There is no discussion of emotional commitment, basically when you fall out of lust with someone; it’s time to move on. Oh, but those previous lustful relationships can evolve into business partnerships or friendships! So that’s good news.
  
  A large portion of the book focuses on the idealistic notion that all the lovers should live in harmony and create a tribe in which to raise children. The authors use the word “tribe” on more occasions than necessary to describe this “extended family.” News flash you can still have a community to raise your children without all the adults screwing around with each other.
  
  The situations described seem like unnecessary drama and exhaustion; creating a shared calendar, your lover drinking the last of your husband’s milk, figuring out other ways to be intimate because your partner used up his erections on someone else, dealing with your feelings of jealousy while your partner is on a date with someone else, ad nauseam.
  
  My biggest pet peeves in the book were the authors’ statement of facts without citation and the recurrent use of the word “many” without quantification.
  
  The authors are all about “going where your libido takes you” and evidently they apply the same stream of consciousness approach to their writing style. The book could have easily been 50 pages less and got the same message across.
  
  If I hadn’t personally known polyamorous people prior to reading this book I would have left with a bad taste in my mouth about the entire idea because of the authors’ haughty idealism of “abundance” and “free love”.
  I can understand how polyamory might be sustainable to some but not without a cost (emotional, physical, time, financial). Of course neither is monogamy without cost, but the more stakeholders at play, the more complicated balancing competing desires and priorities becomes. I can understand how other forms of non-monogamy can have a season in one’s life as well.
  But at the end of the day, as a mature adult, one must decide who and what they want to go home to.
• Very informative and useful. The authors really know whereof they speak! They've been there and learned from experience. Personal and practical, this book is from the heart. The style is very clear, simple and understandable, not academic, literary or "shrink-speak".
  
  Amazingly they DEFINE EVERY unusual term they use, and they point out when popular usage has been changing recently, and when some people use the term differently. Few authors manage that. It's very readable, even by anyone new and clueless like me, so it's a perfect introduction. But its CONTENT is so detailed and comprehensive that it would be a great college-level textbook, if any college gave courses in how to achieve and maintain marital and deep-relationship bliss.
  
  I recommend it unreservedly for anyone interested in keeping a monogamous or other serious relationship happy and healthy, WHETHER OR NOT either of you are also attracted to others. (And I usually want to ARGUE with authors.) When I've discussed ideas from this book that "I wish were not so", experienced poly people just nod or shrug and say "Yeah, it IS like that.")
  
  It's even readable by old, inhibited sticks-in-the-mud like me! You have to decide whether you could give it to your mother to explain "This lifestyle is not like you think it is!" but the only way the book could be made more accessible to squares would be to sissify some of the language. And I think they made a good choice to call a spade a spade.
• This book should be called, "The Epic Tome of Human Relationships". It's title can be off-putting for some, but I guarantee the meat of the book is MORE than worth it. Written by two women, the book covers the full spectrum of all human relationships from friendships to romances and everything in between. It's worth noting that while the book encourages self-exploration and self-discovery of one's own sexuality it also supports those who find themselves to be monogamous.
  
  Truly, it is a book for all Humans.
• I read this book and it gave me words to describe what I have been through for the first time. My husband and I opened our relationship up a while back. I wish I could have had this book through that whole time. It really puts everything I have learned about having a healthy, open, honest relationship into paper form. It is very much worth the read for anyone understanding the non-monogamous world or is interested in opening their relationship. The section on jealousy everyone should read whether monogamous or not.
• A lot of good advice can be obtained from this book. The writing style is very "preachy" in my opinion, so you may want to take things with a grain of salt and keep an open mind. I've also heard it referred to as "hippy-ish" writing, which I think matches as well. Definitely worth a read though if you're looking to understand yourself and others around you.
• This book has such good relationship advice for anyone regardless of how open or closed they want their relationship to be. From communication to intimacy to agreements, this book has it all. My romantic life has benefitted so much from learning and using strategies from this book and I've passed it along to so many other couples who have had a similar experience. If you've been wondering about open and polyamorous relationships but didn't know where to look, you're in the right place!
• Great book. Not only was it pertinent to the non-monogamous realm, but also a great book about self-love, self-care and open communication. I read it twice - once on Audible, and another with the book to highlight important passages. Definitely recommend.
• Even if the immediate "slut" aspect isn't your jive, this book has a lot of good information about interpersonal dynamics.